I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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