ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
