Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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