I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
