wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Randomize
