found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
