everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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