Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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