Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
