I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize