South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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