1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
