God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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