are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
