Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
