well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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