She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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