make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize