Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
