$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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