you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
