"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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