Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
