weddingsv make me drug and hornr
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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