i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
