okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
