My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
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