I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
