I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
