i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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