please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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