last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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