You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Boobs are out for the taking
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
