before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
