i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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