1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
