im drinking this country out of the recession.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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