How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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