honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
