I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
