I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
