When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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