Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize