Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I am mentally ready for anal.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
