plz talk dirty to me
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
