I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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