he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
