Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize