it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
