i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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