i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
