honey bunches of taint.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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