she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
