Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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