I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
