Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
