please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
