Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize