wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
