Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
